As you’ve probably noticed, “Taking Action” is a phrase I frequently use… and will probably continue using in relation to various future topics. While the meaning and implications may seem obvious, there may also be a degree of ambiguity or misinterpretation, so consider this a formal explanation to make sure everyone’s on the same page. Ka-boom!
Action is all about being pro-active, rather than passive and too assumptive regarding personal growth, purpose, fulfilment and achievement. The faster you can cultivate consistent pro-activity (as discussed in the “Consistency” article), the faster you will improve and achieve your goals. In a general life sense, this can range from lower-scale intent-driven needs like eating food and doing exercise to focused activities of higher practising awareness like taking dance classes and regularly putting in extra effort and work to earn that long-awaited promotion… as cliché as that may sound.
Either way, the universal importance of “taking action” is always based upon the fundamental notion that nothing will happen unless you make it happen. Or at least, start applying yourself to smaller actions in the overall process, which will lead to bigger actions and progressively more tangible long-term success. For example, learning a basic dance step routine and improving sense of rhythm before being able to practise more complicated moves and succeed at doing them.
How does this more specifically apply to developing yourself and gaining the skills and experience to attract women into your life? Well – treating this like a videogame of sorts – let’s start at level one. Before you even leave your home and start meeting people, action begins with getting into the right mindset – considering your strengths and weaknesses, gathering relevant information and setting and achieving some small goals, which will progressively build momentum towards bigger goals.
For example: You’ve done some long-overdue cleaning, thrown out some old clothes, got a haircut, done some long-overdue paperwork or professional work to assist your career, and (ultimately, at the very least) searched the Internet for help regarding the sticking points you had taken a minimal amount of time to become more aware of. Perhaps even start a journal to document your experiences and useful things you learn along the way. Pro-activity is evident, motivational momentum is already gained, you’ve earned a higher degree of self-respect and self-reliance, and you’re actively seeking resources to enrich your understanding on certain topics. All fundamental benefits of action-taking that translate into bigger goals, achievements and first-hand experience – especially in terms of gaining leverage to be more aware and outgoing, understanding social dynamics and getting better with women.
Side note: Notice “long-overdue” used twice in that example – no matter what mind tricks and backwards-rationalises manifest to justify laziness, it’s never too late to get on top of things in any area, as a lack of consistent leverage and worthiness will severely hamper the ability to take any action, representing a negative loop instead of fuelling a positive success loop.
Getting back to the videogame analogy, level two would involve going into social environments – situations with potential to meet and socialise with anyone, but particularly meet and attract women. Progressing from independent needs and goals to interpersonal ones. Before we reach the next level, I believe it’s very important to be comfortable in the company of others, with a good social awareness and feeling able to express yourself freely without pressure or fear of judgement… which we call being “unstifled”. Either way, more exposure is better than no exposure.
As you might have guessed, level three is approaching and opening, practising verbal and non-verbal communication skills, using social proof to your advantage, etc. Most guys get bogged down at this level and progress can become slow, for many reasons, including “Approach Anxiety” that (generally but not exclusively) affects more naturally shy and less socially-experienced men. I created a video about this topic if you want more info.
Getting the ball rolling in-field can initially seem like the hardest part, yet always the most important, and eventually the easiest part – due to the naturally-occurring identity shift based on experience. Getting a handle on comfort and confidence around women; handling social pressure and feeling entitled to their attention. Then shifting the mindset to other aspects of your thinking and behaviours that need improving, to present the best version of yourself, learning over time how to correctly move things forward and get better results.
Which leads us to level four, the natural conclusion of recognising attraction and leading towards closing – from getting numbers and setting up dates to more intimate relations within a shorter time period – depending on intentions, interest levels and logistics. Women won’t typically throw themselves onto you, so it’s the man’s duty to realise that action has cultivated a suitable situation to take further action – then have the potential willingness to lead things (or at least “test the waters” in the face of ambiguity) towards a positive and mutually-acceptable end-game for everyone involved, without excuses or limiting beliefs.
Without action, there is stagnation; it keeps you moving forward in some way or another, whether or not you understand or believe that in the immediate future. I realise this might seem very obvious, and this whole article is a newbie’s starter guide, but even those with plenty of experience and confidence can always use a reminder about taking action, if you’ve slowed down or forgotten its underlying importance. Taking action shapes who we are; developing practically-based understandings, in this case particularly of yourself in relation to society and value to women, through setting/working towards goals. No matter what situation or level you’re at, and what area of life you apply action-taking principles, there’s always more reference experience to gain and learning to be had.