Be Sangfroid, My Friends

Wait, you’ve never heard of “Sangfroid” (pronounced “Suhn-Frah”) before? It’s an actual word in the English dictionary.

noun | coolness of mind; calmness; composure: “They committed the robbery with complete sang-froid.”

In other words, composure in the face of difficulty or danger – or at least, what your brain merely perceives to be dangerous or difficult in the moment. It comes from the French language, with a literal translation of “cold blood”, and while that sounds a little worrying or menacing on the surface (the robbery situation word example doesn’t help!), this concept has very profound implications on your success with women and overall wellbeing.

Meeting and attracting women can be stressful for a majority of men, which is why many will make excuses and shy away from genuinely “putting themselves out there”, due to the potential anxiety and guilt associated with that stress. Self-judgement, potentially negative judgement from others and fear of the unknown combine to trick us into believing there’s actually something to be worried about, when in reality there isn’t. This affects our mental state and behaviours in a negative way, and it could be considered “Approach Anxiety”.

So, how do we replace this stress and nervous energy with a more carefree attitude and more effective behaviours? There is no easy solution – in fact the earlier years of my “journey” were constantly hampered by irrational thoughts and crumbling under social pressure – but fortunately you can choose to have self-acceptance. Embrace that you’re going outside your comfort zone, but that’s the point – give your brain enough time to gather enough reference experiences, to rewire itself to recognise the “new normal” from the “old normal”.

From my own long-term experience, and from those I’ve seen who’ve become more happy and successful in their dating life: Familiarity breeds comfort, and the fruits of your action-taking labour will invariably blossom with sangfroid – becoming more secure and self-trusting, adaptable, recognising and controlling your emotions, and a steely resolve that you will keep control and do your best, regardless of what challenging or unpredictable things happen. A little courage goes a long way – not only for your “outer game” ability, but how you feel about yourself.

I won’t go too deep into the whole “meditation” topic, but regular meditative experiences have been proven to help develop a presence and peace of mind – clearing and quieting mental chatter, as to prevent its potentially negative influence in certain situations. Then there are all the great benefits of regular exercise and eating good, clean food on the brain, which you hear all the time – which again contributes overall to being more relaxed, having a more thoughtful and well-balanced control over your emotional state, and operating better in-field.

Healthiness and productivity is tied to self-esteem, which (more often than not) manifests as a positive energy you can express when relating to others – so in addition to sub-communicating increasing familiarity with women, there’s familiarity with ambitious motivation and creating a good lifestyle. The result? Maximum sangfroid achieved! Stay cool, Flowmentumers.

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