At some point you might have heard the term “Naturals”… or at least, thought about guys who are naturally good with women. Guys that haven’t purposely gone out of their way to learn and improve their abilities – and you’ve wondered why you were never like them. What’s the difference?
It mainly boils down to social and behavioural conditioning, stemming from a variety of experiences and influences as you grow and develop, which shapes who you are today. So-called naturals have been exposed to more situations and have gained the necessary skills and confidence through rejection to become more comfortable around women, and know what attracts and doesn’t attract them. The same process you might be going through currently, albeit starting later in life, and catching up with the experiences you never had through childhood and adolescence.
They have been conditioned at a younger age into their success with women – whereas you probably feel as though you’re more deliberately putting effort into understanding and conditioning yourself to face fears and learn how attraction works. In other words, this mean consciously disregarding history and making a big paradigm shift to uncover the true “dance” of courtship that men and women naturally do, or at least, should naturally do with less thought and effort involved.
This is the reality for many guys who find the pick-up community and want to know everything they can to succeed, even if they’ve had some experience with a relationship or two, yet weren’t entirely satisfied with the situation in hindsight. Or have always felt like it was the women “choosing” them, rather than being able to choose the women they’re genuinely interested in and want to have relationships with.
Regardless of how it feels, men learning dating skills are more closely connected to the “naturals” than they realise. Entitlement, social skills and self-confidence can always be improved, and most importantly learned and understood. It can seem like a lot of time and “work” you need to invest, but just as the “naturals” have already discovered, the requisite process of learning should also be fun, with lots of action and failure, but results inevitably come when you reach a level of “unconscious competence”. Which means achieving success instinctively, with less consistently conscious focus. So, go forth and be natural!